The Grey Stuff

Someone Should Genetically Engineer The Eggvocado

 

Someone should genetically engineer the eggvocado. Seriously. Calling all scientists! Stop what you're doing and make this happen. It's THAT delicious. It needs to be a natural thing. Or fake-natural and modified, but just a thing that exists in and of itself. 

Failing that, thankfully my new favorite breakfast (and lunch, and dinner) is easy to make. See below. I like to pretend that it's a culinary art, and I an artiste, so I've done my best to write lengthy descriptions for simple things. Apologies in advance. 

Ingredients
1 half of an avocado (pitted)
1 egg
Salt and pepper
Mushrooms
Greek Yogurt 
Salsa

Directions
-Preheat oven to 375°F (or higher, but higher increases the potentail for an overcooked egg. And nobody likes an overcooked egg. Or puts baby in a corner...(sorry, I had to!))
-Using some aluminum foil, create a bowl / boat for your eggvocado to live in. You also may have a  more appropriate kitchen utensil that fits the bill. 
-Scoop out some extra avocado to create a larger hollow...enough to ensure that the egg doesn't completely overflow
-Crack the egg in the avocado hollow and and some salt & pepper to taste
-Toss that sucker in the oven for approximately 15 minutes. Ideally, you want a tender yoke and some non-runny whites, 
-Top with salsa and greek yogurt
-Enjoy and stuff

My first time out of the gates, some things went right, and a couple went wrong. It happens to a lot of people, don't judge. 

Things that went right
-Adding the "discarded" avocado to the alumnium foil boat. Despite some initial hesitation that cooked avocado would be no bueno, I tossed the little pieces in the oven. When else was I going to use them? The result: more delicousness. As if baked avocado could suck. I mean, IT'S AVOCADO! It's always awesome. 
-Tossing mushrooms in and around the eggvocado to be. Genius. 
-Special guests, salsa and greek  yogurt. 
-Singing "eggvocado" to Duran Duran's Rio. We don't need to revist it all, but just know the chorus started "My eggvocado is so delicious and so grand", 

Things that went awry
-I ran out of bagels, and had to eat this with toast, despite living across the street (literally, I can see them now) from one of Montreal's top bagel shops. Fail. 
-That's really all that went wrong, but it's worth two.  

The Avengers FTW

 

FOR. THE. WIN.

This move rocks. No words of mine can do it justice, so I’ll turn to the true professionals. The critics cited in the above TV promo.

Is it “a must see move event for everyone”? Yes. Does it matter who Sunny Chanel is or what Babble.com is all about? No. Just go see it. You should probably even see it twice. I most certainly will.

Is it “daring”? Duh. Never doubt Rolling Stone.

And it’s not only “a blast”, it’s a blast and a half. Understatement of the year, New York Magazine. Maybe you should try something more along the lines of “a larger than life summer blockbuster”, like the Associated Press did.

That's really all you need to know.  

I'd tell you more, but I don't want to spoil it for you. Not that any amount of spoilers could. It's that good.

PLUS, I got a big-ass Avengers drink...complete with it's own collectable figurine (I obviously chose Captain America). 

What more could a girl ask for?

(The answer is nothing, btws. The movie was fabulous, the drink was humongous, and I went home with a pocket Chris Evans. The Avengers FTW, I tell ya.) 

Zucchini Patty Sandwiches For All!

I just made these for lunch and have never been happier. I strongly encourage you give your stummy (stomach + tummy = stummy) the same blissful gift. 

Ingredients
1 15.5-oz can chickpeas, drained and rinsed
1 cup plain breadcrumbs
1 zucchini, grated
1 small red onion, grated
1 egg, lightly whisked
1 teaspoon coarse salt
1/4 cup extra-virgin olive oil
4 whole-wheat pitas
1 cup low-fat Greek yogurt
8 leaves tender lettuce
Fresh basil leaves
1/2 cup of mushrooms, sautéed

Directions
-Mash chickpeas in a bowl until smooth (a ziplock bag works too!). Stir in breadcrumbs, zucchini, onion, egg, and salt. Form into eight 4-by-1/2-inch patties.
-Sauté mushrooms
-Sauté  patties in oil until golden and crisp, 2-3 minutes per side. The patties soak up the oil like pros, so you may want to set these aside to cool and de-grease before moving on. 
-Halve pitas and stuff with patties, yogurt, mushrooms, lettuce, and basil.

Picture and original recipe from the fine people at Whole Living. Because there's no way my kitchen counters are this nice. Or my utensils. And it's not like I know how to take a proper picture or am anywhere near as innovative in the kitchen to even drum these babies up.

The liberties exercised with this recipe include: adding in the mushrooms, and swapping mint for basil. Reasons for this change up? These are the things already in my fridge. We also went for a FULL 19oz of chickpeas instead of the called-for 15.5, and didn't toast the pitas. SCANDLAOUS! 

 

My Reverse Bucket List

Bowling, Meet Reverse Bucket List. 

Behold my reverse bucket list. These are things I've given up on.

Things I absolutely do not need to excel at or accomplish in any way before I kick the bucket. Things that I'll continue to engage in, but with an unparalleled apathy and zero desire to win. (It's bolded, so I mean it.)

Scrabble.
This can also be extended to Words With Friends, or any game that requires me to rearrange letters into a word without a special decoder ring. To draw on a Simpsons reference (because that's what I do), I see "Jeremy Irons" and can only anagram that to "Jeremy's Iron". I just can't see words. It often takes me days. DAYS! Count this as especially troubling given the fact that I'm not entirely inarticulate. When epiphany is reached, and I actually do find a word, I get so excited. So excited that I play it without taking toll of the board, or letting strategy guide my placement. I will play a word like quixotry, and somehow only rake in 3 points. Scrabble, I give up on you.

Pool.
I like math. I like winning. I don't like pool. I just can't do it. And I refuse to try. I'm pretty sure I also suck at darts. I'll stick to ducking pool cues and angling my way out of your shot while drinking while at bars.

Bowling.
Fucking bowling. I used to be good at it. Turkey good. Then I stopped being good. Could it be hormones? Did my bowling skillz disappear the same time as my childhood asthma? Either way, I wholly and completely suck now. Be it drunk or sober, I suck. Suck to the point of gutter balls. (Grown ups shouldn't get gutter balls!) Suck to the extent that, I've been pulled aside for a private lesson by the owner of an alley-  my inconsistency bothered him. Apparently it’s abornal to hug the gutter for three frames hot of the heels of a strike. Who knew!?! The kicker? I am fairly athletic – hand eye coordination and all that jazz. End result? Bowling, you don’t own me. Besides, it’s not even like you’re a real sport anyway.

There's probably more to add to this list, but I'm not ready to admit defeat yet. Besides, I'm totally just letting you win anyways.